


a drunk rambling

by lafayettelovingwriter



Series: the words we cannot express [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 10:12:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16742065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafayettelovingwriter/pseuds/lafayettelovingwriter
Summary: Alexander gets drunk at a party and rambles to Jefferson about why America — and really just life itself — is fucked up.There's one other thing he ends up admitting as well.





	a drunk rambling

**Author's Note:**

> based on a real experience; me and some new friends were essentially listening to this (drunk? high?) guy ramble about shit on a voice chat on discord. it was fucking weird, ngl.
> 
> also, YES, i know!! i have a one-shot book!! but the title needed to be lowercase aesthetic and that doesn't fit in with the proper capitalization of the titles in that story. also, this is better off on its own imo.
> 
> alsoalsoalso, this one-shot contains some pretttttyyy controversial opinions. proceed with caution.

“Jeffersooon,” Alex whined as he drunkenly stumbled in the Virginian's direction. “I need to vennnttt . . .”

“No,” Jefferson said immediately. “I don't want to be here any longer than I have to —”

“America'sss fucked up, y'know that?” Alex cut in, words slurred.

Jefferson blinked. “. . . Yeah, it is,” he admitted, “but why —”

“America’sss fucked up and TRUMP'S A BITCH,” Alex said, speaking louder this time.

“Alexander, _please_ —”

“Shuttt up, Jefferson! I'm tellin’ my LIFE STORRRY!”

“What.” Jefferson stared at him. “Hamilton, you need to go home.”

Alex sighed. “Not even _yyyou_ listen to meee . . .”

“Correction,” Jefferson groaned, “I'm going to drive you home.”

“Fuuuck you,” Alex slurred as Jefferson grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him towards the exit. “The government's fucked up, iiit's alllll FUCKED UP.”

“Hamilton,” Jefferson hissed as they stepped outside, “how drunk are you?”

“. . . Fiiive,” Alex mumbled.

“What the actual fuck,” the Virginian muttered as he practically dragged Alex towards his car.

Alex frowned. “ _Iiin the eye of a hurricane, there is quiet_ —”

“Please don't sing.” Jefferson shoved him into the back seat a bit more roughly than necessary.

“ _For just a moment_ ,” Alex practically whispered, and Jefferson rolled his eyes as he went around to the driver's side, “ _a yellow sky_.”

“Where'd you get that from?” Jefferson couldn't help but ask as he started up the car.

“III made it up,” Alex said quietly. “The governnnment's sssuper fucked up . . .”

“So I've been told,” Jefferson muttered.

“Homophobes! They're everyyywhere!” the brunet suddenly cried. “I'm sorry, but I can't control that I'm _biii_ , it's liiike . . . liiike telling a penis to be —”

“ _HAMILTON_.” Jefferson shot him a glare before setting his eyes on the road again.

Alex was undeterred. “— a vagina,” he finished, and Jefferson had to restrain himself from smacking his head against the steering wheel in exasperation.

“God save me,” he muttered, and, unfortunately, Alex heard this.

“Why do people force rellligion on otherrrs?” he asked, though the question was mostly rhetorical. “Why is it baddd to be an atheist? I don't see the fucking _proooblem_! Who caaares if I'm a fucking ‘heathen,’ that shouldn't evennn be a fucking _word_! Like, shut up! I believe what I wanna fucking believe!”

Some small part of Jefferson agreed with Alex for once, but he pushed that down. Now was not the time he should even be talking to Alex, let alone agreeing with him — his own words were likely to be used against him.

“Are you ignorrring me?” Alex inquired after a long period of time.

“No, I'm just trying to drive,” Jefferson hissed between grit teeth.

“I don't liiike it when you ignorrreee me,” the shorter man said sadly. “I like yooouuu a lot! I hate it when we argue, buuut at least you're payin’ atttttention to meee . . .”

Jefferson froze. “You what?”

“I like you a lot,” Alex repeated. “You're talllll, dark, and handsome aaand your opinions are shit but! Buuut you’re super fun to talk to ‘n’ shit. I like it when we talk. I like _yooouuu_ . . .”

Jefferson didn't speak for an excruciatingly long time. “You . . . _like_ me?” he said finally, his words fairly hesitant.

“I like you.”

“Like or like-like?”

“Like-like, I thinkkk?” Alex frowned. “I dunno. ‘M bad with feelings and shit.”

“Hamilton,” Jefferson started slowly, “you're drunk. You don't like me. _You are drunk_.”

“I don’ think I don't . . . I _sweaaarrr_ I like you, ‘m surrreee of it.”

Jefferson didn't say another word after that. He knew he shouldn't, otherwise things might go badly — and he couldn't distract himself from the road any further.

Thankfully, Alex didn't either.

**Author's Note:**

> i cannot tell a lie.
> 
> a lot of these opinions are my own, but, honestly? they seemed to fit what a drunk Alex would say. i'm really sorry if i offended you, _please_ don't hate me -- i worked pretty damn hard on this and i'm not about to let myself get flamed and hated on.
> 
> you know what the important thing is, though? i enjoyed writing this! don't make me feel ashamed for that. if i write about how i feel by incorporating it into the characters and i actually have fun with it, that's great! that's better than great! that's amazing, because that means i have it in me to feel proud about what i believe.
> 
> i don't know if that makes any sense. i don't know of that's enough to stop a wave of hate from coming at me. i don't know if you even care.
> 
> but know that this is my story, not yours. you have no power over it unless you are offering me good, supportive, _genuine_ advice -- yet, even then, it's still my choice whether or not i listen to you!
> 
> i love writing, okay? i love what i write, all right? i love just _doing this_ , y'know?
> 
> don't take that away from me.
> 
> thanks for coming to my ted talk. Laf, out.
> 
> \-----
> 
> NOTICE: i'm making this into a series entitled "the words we cannot express." if i don't get distracted, part 2 should be up sometime this weekend, if not later today. and i might write more parts beyond that, who knows. :P
> 
> EDIT: i lied i'm lazy and i couldn't get it done smh


End file.
